It’s thirty-two degrees out; snow, sleet, and wind have overwhelmed all motivation. The recommendation was voiced: “Let’s go see a movie!” The movie-goers traveled to the ever-convenient fandango.com for a list of movies and times; their disappointment grew as the movie list was perused.
“Twighlight?” One person suggested.
“Twighlight?! Who wants to go watch a movie about a guy that’s a vampire, a girl that falls in love with him, and a vampire that has to protect the girl?!”
“OK, forget I said anything…” Came the mumbled response, quieted from the uproar.
“Rated R… Already seen it…” The list continued to disappoint.
“What about Bolt? It could be cute.” The anxiety of being immediately rejected was clear.
“If you want to waste your time and money watching a cartoon about a stupid stunt dog learning what the real world is like, be my guest.” Once again, the retort was cruel and cutting.
“Wait! Four Christmases could be interesting!”
Surprisingly, no one had a strong argument against that movie and the four movie-goers clambered into the car and drove off to the Rivertree Court Movie Theater.
Roughly two hours later, after suffering through an hour and twenty-two minutes of the movie, the spectators clambered out of the car back at home, still in a daze from what they had just witnessed. The list of actors that made up the cast was quite impressive, contrary to the movie, which had produced an uncharacteristically predictable movie that was, at best, mildly entertaining. There were Oscar winners such as Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Jon Voight, and Mary Steenburgen. The two main actors were Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, both well-known and typically well-liked actors. These two were supposed to be in their dream relationship; their chemistry on the set failed to convince the viewer as the hulking, occasionally crude Vaughn was paired with the “southern gal” I always picture from movies such as Sweet Home Alabama and Walk the Line. The supporting cast didn’t fit in with the awkward couple and seemed like they were off in their own world. The film was quite an embarrassment for all involved.
As for the plot… The movie started off cute enough: a man and a woman in love. There are disparities from the norm of stories of lovers, however! Neither have any interest in getting married, for fear of making their relationship more like a job, or having children to tie them down. These points are stressed drastically throughout the movie which makes the ending predictable to the observer from the very beginning.
Then, as the couple finishes lying to their parents, making excuses about why they won’t be there for Christmas, one of the funnier parts of the movie, the airlines cancel all flights due to weather (another unpredictable turn of events? I should say not). Of course, the couple then has to go spend Christmas with their families at four separate locations because both of their parents are divorced. At this point, it could be stated that the beginning was somewhat cute and amusing; just as my hopes were going up, however, they plunged down, crashed, and burned. To get a few cheap laughs, there are vomit jokes and people falling off roofs; how that is funny, I am unaware.
Four Christmases tries to incorporate the typical fear of returning to their families for the holiday, the horror that occurs, the fights that result, the embarrassing stories parents share with their children’s significant others, and awkward situations that ensue. The movie then tries to intertwine deep, sentimental messages of marriage and the importance of family, believe it or not! Nothing in the movie comes as unexpected. The writing failed to captivate the audience and the attempts at “feel-good,” “importance of family” moments are feeble and transparent.
So as not to spoil the end for anyone still hopeful of seeing a cute, entertaining movie, I will attempt to refrain from outlining every detail. However, five minutes into the movie, every viewer will already know what the outcome will be. Be warned: have caffeine before going so as not to fall asleep.
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I remember writing this piece. I remember staring at a blank computer screne, watching the clock's unrelenting hands slowly move, counting down the minutes until this unproductive writing workshop was over. I was completely uninspired, and flawed ideas would occasionaly come to mind, only to be immediately dismissed. Finally, I was addressed with the idea of writing something more along the lines of a report. Something less creative. I decided to write about a movie I had recently seen. As a movie review, it wasn't creative (duh), so I decided to try to include a little bit of a story with it. Whether the story added to or detracted from the quality of the piece, I'm not quite sure.
ReplyDeleteThis piece did seem relatively realistic, so I was proud of that. The sentence structure improved and my voice became more developed, contrary to pieces from freshman and sophomore years. Because it wasn't a story, "show, don't tell" didn't really apply, but I used dialogue in the beginning.